Captain's Log: 2004.11

11.05.04: Happy Days Are To Come

This week has been so very strange. George Bush was re-elected as President of the United States, and my state was one of the few to vote for John Kerry. Illinois usually goes towards the Democratic side. The two parties are a joke and I can't understand why you have to be part of one. This country could use something different, something like me. I admit that my elders have told me to stay away from politics. "You would get yourself assassinated," they say. To which of course I respond by saying I will learn the art of ninjitsu. I have to do something while I am waiting to turn thirty-five.

Things happened with people and I don't know what else to say about them. One of my older friends just went through their parents divorcing. Someone I haven't talked to for about two years e-mailed me the other day. It took me five minutes to figure out how they knew my name. Rest has been evading me for far too long. I really should dealing with some of my feelings but I doubt that will happen anytime soon. Everyone comes to my with their problems and it seems as though I exhaust my thoughts on others. Counseling people whose friends committed suicide, cruel parents, stupid relationships, coming out of the closet, you name it and I have it archived in my memory banks. I'm not sorry nor will I ever be for helping people through these, but maybe I should take some time for myself besides meditation. All I ever hear of is the bad traits of man, no one ever tells me how they won a contest, or met someone nice. That's all I could ever wish for them and what I want to commit my life to. Personal gain is pointless.

I am still working on updating my walkthroughs. I know I only have one up, but I may put the other ones back up once I regain my faith that people won't claim it as their own simply because they have access to it. You cannot steal from a grocery store just because they have food where you can reach it. Maybe that should be my next tutorial, netiquette. I guess it takes all types.

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true.

James Branch Cabell (1879 - 1958)

11.18.04: To Trip Or Not To Trip

Sometimes it can be a little funny to look at where I am in a given moment of time. Sitting in my computer class with nothing to do, done with all my exercises four days before everyone else. Except for Krissie, anyway. At least one other person can help the people who shouldn't even be at a class this level. Truth be told, I should be at a different level myself, but I was stuck here due to a schedule conflict. I am still just a little bitter. Chewing gum in a place where you are not supposed to makes me feel a little better, but I am still deeply annoyed with this path.

Since I am in school and away from my much beloved Adobe software, I may as well talk about my educational life. My mind wanders a lot in school because I am impatient and cannot stand how long some students can repeat the same things back and forth in arguments when the answer is clear as day and completely different than what they think. Answer itself is a pointless word, for the meaning is too wide a field to single it out into one thing that differs from each perspective.

Looking to classes where one is not required to think, gym is amazing in a different way. At the moment we happen to be line dancing to the song that is identical to the one Stan did in South Park. For those who watch it religiously, it is the one where they make fun of that "You Got Served" movie. How is one supposed to concentrate after watching that? I wish we would learn some of the finer dances, some that may actually come of use.

Today is a shortened day due to a teacher's conference. People seem down today. I have a bad feeling myself, though as to why I have not a clue. Most kids are saying that it is the weather. It is supposed to rain for the next three days but we want snow. The one nice thing about living in Rockford is that we get all the seasons in full effect. I have noticed that the recent seasons are becoming odd, so maybe our environment is finally pushing back. Aren't chaotic systems fun?

Do you ever hear small sections of conversations and then wonder what the hell they must have been talking about to come to that point? I do not care for my peers too much. I have to get out of here.

The world is full of people whose notion of a satisfactory future is, in fact, a return to the idealized past.

Robertson Davies

All ramblings of Erica Feggestad 2000-2008